Funnies

So, I use my maiden name at work. I never wanted folks to think I got my job by hanging onto my husband's shirt-tails. Sure, now that I've been at the same job for nearly seven years - people know. They know who I'm married to. And I think I've managed to stand on my own merits. At least I've worked hard to. Hopefully.

But using my maiden name presents some -er- challenges for folks who speak Spanish. See, /j/ usually becomes an /h/ or a consonant /y/ in Spanish. The consonant /g/ is usually pronounced as an /h/. My last name starts with a J. But people know that my name is pronounced with /j/ as the initial phoneme. So, what to do? Well, I get notes from kids (and some adults, too) that start like this:

"Dear Ms. Gas___,"

Um, yeah. 

I suppose it might be time to use my married surname. It would just be easier all the way around.

And less gassy.

Oh, and did you know. 

You can milk a dog.

Or, as I like to say:

Never ever ever decide that it is a good idea to lead a poetry unit for 1st graders. It never end the way you'd imagined it. There will be no budding Barret Brownings, no small Walt Whitmans. Although you may encounter an ee cummings or two in the making.

Case in point.

Me: I want you to think of some words that rhyme with moo.

Kids: Uh, cow.

Me: No, moo is the sound a cow makes. What are some words that have an ending sound like moo?

Kids: Oh, cows have those thingys that hang down.

Me: Well, yes. They're called udders. Now, what are some words that rhyme with moo? I'll start: a word that rhymes with moo is blue.

Kids: What are udders for? 

Me: Udders are for the animal to nurse and feed their babies.

Kids: Sheep have udders. Cows have udders. You can milk a cow.

Me: (foolishly) Yes, there are many animals with udders. You can milk a sheep too. And goats. Not just cows.

Kid: You can milk a dog, they nurse their babies.

Me: Yes, but it wouldn't be a very good idea. Now, could we please find some words that rhyme with udder, I mean moo?